08 Nov Bringing Dreams Out of Exile
Sometimes we exile our dreams. We do this because we’ve been hurt, experienced loss, felt betrayed, been stuck, felt blamed, alone, too seen, too big, too small, inept, insufficient, overwhelmed, underwhelmed or helpless and therefore hopeless.
Then something happens – a door opens, an experience beckons, a person hugs you, a story cracks your heart, an old smell opens a floodgate of beauty that you forgot your body ever knew about…
This weekend a dream came out of exile. I went to the Tribalize: Regenerative Community Summit II at Green Valley Farm in Sebastopol and found myself amongst falling leaves, redwood trees, animal smells and a host of new and old friends meeting in a cold barn heated by a few portable propane tanks – and I realized I had come home.
The vision of regenerative culture – of my life and human life connected to the land, to community, to plants and animals and body time and to the greater intelligences of nature and spirit – is so fundamental to my life.
2.5 years ago, I left a dream life on a 40 acre farm in rural Southern Oregon in order to claim my own life. My partner at that time was not able to support or even tolerate the bigness of my soul, so I packed up my stuff and my life, leaving the community I had worked to build, my animals, my relationship with the land, a dedicated ceremony and workshop space I had built, and the potent relationships I’d built with his two boys. Fast forward 2.5 years, and I’m still working through subtle layers of grief that have been holding a freeze on my new dreams.
Last weekend helped me to meet this grief in a new way, as a friend and strong hand, still guiding my way to my dreams of land, community and deep intimacy with place.
Now, my job is to be strong and soft and persistent. Dreams don’t like being hunted. They like tending and watering.
My dreams are a garden.
Where I’m starting – I’m loving the North Berkeley land I live on, tending the deva’s and tree spirits, foxes and bird people here. I’m praying with water. I’m loving the place where I live as a sacred place. And, I’m building community in practice, prayer, art and action. This is always the foundation. I trust that spirit, the earth and my own higher self will continue to show me the way forward.