28 Nov Say NO to create a BIGGER YES.
Say NO to create a BIGGER YES.
Ok… so, I live inside a YES culture. And, I love it. I am ALL ABOUT the Big Yes to love, to life, to intimacy, to more life… I’m all about the delicious bio-chemistry of embracing my life.
But, really folks, have you taken a moment lately to celebrate NO?
NO it the other side of the big YES. Without it… we’re just ceaseless, unbounded, amoebic blobs. Without no, we can’t negotiate our time, energy attention, and intimacy. Without no, we are unable to create healthy boundaries, to make coherent choices or to be effective in our leadership.
But, we are really afraid of the no.
We are afraid we will disappoint, upset, off-put or loose out. We are afraid to be perceived as negative. We are afraid that NO will inhibit the yes.
We have equated no with negative.
What if no IS profoundly positive?
What if NO is the secret ingredient in a coherent system?
What if NO is the key to living a sane and healthy human life?
What if NO is also part of the BIG YES of oneness?
WHAT IF YOUR STRONG, CLEAR, NO FREES AND SUPPORTS THE BIGNESS OF YOUR YES?
Really… if I were a cell, and I only said YES, I would soon become a cancer.
- If I were a gardener, and I only said yes, I would only have a plot full of weeds.
- If I were a mother and I only said yes, I would exhaust myself, and my child would grow up without healthy boundaries or respect for others.
- If I were a woman, and I only said yes, I’d be recapitulating the same dysfunctional and abusive relationships I came here to heal this lifetime.
- If I were a leader and I only said yes, you would walk the other way…. Wouldn’t you?
I am here today to firmly and lovingly, joyfully and lightly, embrace NO. Sometimes it takes a BIG NO to create an even bigger YES.
Take a few minutes today to contemplate where in your life you are AFRAID to say no? Where are you withholding your truth in order to “keep the peace” or please another? How are you overriding your no in order to please? How are you holding on to more than you need to because you feel like you “should” be responsible or that you will hurt someone if you walk away?
How would your energy be freed up if you said no? What would you really loose by saying no? What might you gain? And how would the whole situation be clarified and improved by your courage to set a clear boundary? (Remember – sometimes there is no way to know the answer to this question in advance.)
NOW, pick up that phone, write that email, open that door, and say what needs to be said. It is through this NO that we are able to create a BIGGER YES.